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Hey - I'm sorry that you are on the verge of a self-induced nervous breakdown and come into work everyday a half hour early in order to shove your pills down your throat. (yeah, we all know about that)However, the next time I come into work at 7:01, instead of 7:00 and you look at the clock and shake your head, I am going to shove my coffee cup up your ass. Oh, and tell the Dr. to up your dosage a little more bc it's obviously not working.
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I have a physco. She pretends to be little miss sweetness and all the while she has this big knife headed for your back. Habit????? How about drama queen and trauma queen? How about she is too good to make her own copies. How about every time I am on this pc she has to know what I am up to? Or which days I am working OH PLEASE JUST GET LOST!!!
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No one likes a smart-ass, especially one who is an argumentative know-it-all who always has to have the last word. Your idea of a "conversation" is to pontificate at whoever has the misfortune of not escaping the room before you walk in. You fancy yourself as some sort of edgy hipster, who is all about irony and sarcasm and "witty banter". The reality is that you are a pseudo-intellectual blowhard who gets off on the sound of his own voice. Do us all a favor and shut the hell up already.
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You think everyone in the world thinks you're sexy and wants you. Every time someone gets angry at you, you blame it on them and how they're sexually frustrated because you won't sleep with them. Guess what? Everyone hates you because you're dumb and annoying...not because we want you and can't have you. Your are a delusional freak of nature. And you are actually quite ugly.
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I started my dream job 10 months ago and you acted like an ass from the right get go! Hiding my stuff, mouthing off at me and then a few minutes later, all kiss-ass like. WTF! Now that we've both moved up in positions, you seem to think you can do nothing and put crap on people when they walk in the door. I am more computer friendly than you, so when l try to show you the things you asked me to show you, you get a smug attitude. I'm so sick of your attitude! Grow up or F**k off!
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Come out - of the closet that is, just come out of the closet, we ALL know you're gay. Hey, it's totally OK and no one will judge, in fact we'll judge less since you will be coming to truth with yourself. Seriously, when you know more about Louis Vuitton and Prada than a female, it's pretty obvious. Besides, when like 90% of your "friends" on myspace are flamming gay it's not really so much of a secret who you like.
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Don't ask me to do something, watch me the entire time doing it (4 hours of paperwork) then once I have the result take it all away to 'double' check it & then report to the CEO that you fixed it. I'm going to make your working life a living hell from this day forth - watch out, Ive had enough of your 'Im so happy positive attitude', do some real work instead of making up new spreadsheets everyday to replace the ones we already have. We cant stand you!
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Nasty perfume/cologne that lingers and gets some sick sick sick of it it it!!! If I have to throw up should I come over to you and vomit on you? It should be office policy not to wear your pimp/pimpette gear!
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Miss Obsessive-Compulsive: The woman who immediately snaps her head down to the floor and avoids eye contact when you approach. The one who jumps up from her desk and rushes full speed to the printer or fax machine. The one who bounces around the office, twirling her ID badge from around her neck at full speed. The one whose responses (when she has to speak) sound like they're programmed. You creep everyone out; loosen up, or seek counseling...we do have that in our health plan.
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Why would you grab something off of the PRINTER and take it to your desk to work on when YOU didn't print it? I don't care if you usually handle that account, the boss asked me to handle this project. Then, after I come and say the papers were mine, you proceed to go through each invoice like I don't know what's going on... I PRINTED IT- remember? And then you lick your finger every time you touch a page, and your gross old lady pink lipstick is slathered on every page...ugh! *shudder*
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