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You stick around an hour into my shift every fucking weekend and talk for about an hour. And it's not even talking about interesting crap! It's about stupid gossip or crap about someone else. And then you talk like you know what everyone else is thinking or feeling. DUDE! You don't even fucking work here on weekdays! Are you fucking kidding me? You don't know a DAMN thing! You are a HUGE FUCKING LOSER! Fuck off!
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Stop burning your shitty chemical cheap white-trash candles. You don't like the smell of cigarettes on people's clothes, so you stink up the whole office to smell like fake kettle corn...thanks a lot, you ugly crazy-eyed cunt.
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You are such a hypocrite! You act like you're a saint and go to church every Sunday but at the district meetings, you're always the last one to leave the bar! We all know that you're nothing but a slut! You nasty bitch! You need to just face the fact that you are old and stop taking advantage of drunken salesmen... I don't blame your husband for going out on you! He should have just left your skanky ass!
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First of all, you're not fooling anyone. We all know your boobs are fake. They aren't even on straight! You're fake white teeth are so white they look blue. And WTF is up with you running to the restroom to brush them every 20 minutes? That's just weird! The next time I'm in the restroom and you're brushing your teeth, I hope I have to shit! I would ask for my money back to from the doc that gives you your botox treatments because they're not working! Your personality is fake as hell too!
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I would like to give my fellow coworker 3 cheers for sticking her head so far up managerial a@@ that she can tell them if a colonospocy is needed or not. Also special honors for having the brownist nose in the office. Here! Here!
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You've been looking for a reason to have me fired for months and STILL can't find one. You can't find any evidence to substantiate your assumption that I'm lazy no matter how hard you look? Here's a thought: YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT ME. I'm a good worker and YOU'RE the crap employee who has nothing better to do than to spy on people on company time. You're wasting you time! And stop peeking at my computer from over the top of the cubicle! I can see you!
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You sound like a two year child when you speak. The baby talk is not cute. When I hear you talk it makes me want to rip my hair out. You try to act cute and funny and you get pissed if I don't share the same enthusiasm. You constantly wonder if something is wrong with me if I don't give you my undivided attention every second. Everything is always about you. Whatever makes you believe you are so entitled is totally beyond me. GROW UP!
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I'm sick of hearing about your food anxiety. Stop announcing every time you're hungry, you think you need to eat or that you're eating something else now. Stop telling me you deprive yourself of chocolate (to the point where you break down and eat an entire Milky Way in one sitting b/c of it). I don't want to hear that you lost three pounds, so you can eat such and such. I don't care about what you eat, don't eat, or wish you could eat if you'd let yourself. Shut up!!!
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Here's an example for you. The guy I work with is a right-wing bigot, and behind all of his statements is the assumption that you agree with him. Not everyone shares your political views! You read the Daily Mail on a daily basis. You use the words 'liberal' and 'feminist' pejoratively. God, you are such an imbecile. You make the office an unbearable place to be because your voice carries across the whole floor. Not everyone wants to hear about your work. We don't care.
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I know this may be news to you, but there is something on your computer called a print folder. It shows you how many jobs are waiting for the printer. Therefore, when you hit print and it doesnt work, you really dont need to hit it 75 more times. If it didnt work the first time, its not gonna work the 75th time either. Oh wait, eventually it will and then your document will come out 76 TIMES Jackass! Yes, 76 times, JUST LIKE THE AMOUNT OF TIMES YOU SENT IT!!! I'm getting you a typewriter!
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