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Wow. You had a baby. You had sex and a human grew inside of you and you pushed it out and now you're the #1 person in the world. I get it. It's an amazing feat and nobody in the history of the world can compare with your amazing powers of successfully carrying a child to term and then having it come out of your vajayjay. Amazing. Superb. You know what would be just super? If you could actually show up to work and just try to make it through the day without talking about your child.
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Why do you feel the need to scream into your phone in Spanish? I know you don't know how annoying you are but it makes me want to learn French so I can yell and laugh at the top of my lungs in French to my home answering machine. How can anyone even stand to listen to you for an hour? I want to kill myself after listening to you for 5 minutes.
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The next time you come up to me and squeeze my shoulder and ask, "how's it goin' big guy, everything okay?" along with that condescending look, I am gonna punch you in the throat. Don't worry about how I am doing, let me do my work. I'm 44 years old, what are you, 23 at best? Kid, if I want to let you know how I am doing I will tell you. You're not my big brother. You just moved out of your parents house, don't make me snap on you because it's not going to be pleasant .
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Are you deaf? Can you not hear the phone ringing off the hook? ANSWER THE PHONE YOU WORTHLESS COW! And stop hanging up on our customers!! Good lord woman you have the patience of a gnat! Stop listening in on all my phone calls and then ask me who I was talking to. Please if someone calls for me TAKE A PHONE MESSAGE....I DON'T HAVE ESP!
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OMG, Really? You can't like get a nicotine patch or something? Do have have to have 11 smoke breaks everyday standing outside MY door? I am tired of smelling like you all day. Just go smoke where everyone else dose. I hate to smell you all day.
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I can't believe you have kept your job as long as you have. You hide behind your many credentials and your ability to kiss major ass. In this difficult and struggling economy you would think that you would be a little more cautious, and polite. I don't care if you don't do your job, just don't tell me how to do mine. STOP CALLING EVERYONE IN YOUR FAMILY ALL DAY!! Please stop eating full meals at your desk and then take a lunch break! You disgust me!
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We are in cubicles. Letting a few loose in your cube is not going to go unnoticed. Just like i can hear your phone calls i can hear and smell your after lunch gases. Try some Beano, go to the bathroom, there are many options that do not involve your stench triggering my gag reflex!
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You are a ham beast lady man. You talk like a man, walk like a man, eat like a man, and say man way to much. We dont care about your opinion even though you insist on letting us know. A monkey could do your job and I dont want to hear you talk about how hard it is you cunt. Stop eating everyone's food. You didnt ask and you don't wash your hands. I know this first hand. It's an ongoing joke that we have to hide food. Cut your dick off and grow a freaking vag you cow whore.
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You think that nobody knows that all you do when you're not walking around the sales floor is look at porn. I mean, come on, people do walk PAST your cubicle.
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Is it really necessary to ask me what time it is every hour, while you are sitting in your cubicle, when you have a clock on your own computer?
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